The World of Hamsterpants

Wry (hopefully) commentary on all things, with an emphasis on fart jokes.

That’s one snuggly baby…

It’s really a drag when your friend’s kid is really ugly and you have to pretend it’s not.  This one looks like a duck crossed on a garden gnome.

Is it wrong that I have wished really, REALLY hard for shitty weather for the vacation of a guy I used to crush on a little, since he took his FAT, STUPID GF and her hellacious brat there for the former’s 40th (looks 50) birthday? And that my wish came true?  #twoweeksconstantrain #burnmeImawitch

Is it wrong that I have wished really, REALLY hard for shitty weather for the vacation of a guy I used to crush on a little, since he took his FAT, STUPID GF and her hellacious brat there for the former’s 40th (looks 50) birthday? And that my wish came true?  #twoweeksconstantrain #burnmeImawitch

So my old man, dog bless him, went on a trip to France a few weeks ago. He sent me five CDs worth of pics that he took. Now my dad’s lack of photography skills are legendary. And he continues to uphold that tradition. My dad may be the only tourist ever to take a picture of the awe-inspiring edifice that is Notre Dame, and make sure he got a dumpster in the bottom right of the frame. The Loire Valley looks like the San Fernando Valley. He has his thumb partially obscuring the viewfinder taking shots of the solemn memorial to the fallen at Normandy. The Eiffel Tower looks vaguely distasteful. He made me sad for France. Maybe that’s what he was going for…

placebomurzyn:

hamster having a dream

Obvs I have to reblog this.

(via polyandthenomials)

Y’all, I’m too pooped to pope.

So, what’d I miss?

Quarterback Facebook Convos!

And what is the first rule of Fight Club, hmmm?

And what is the first rule of Fight Club, hmmm?

I wish with all my heart I had written this.  
This is one of those when you say to your friends, “Uh sorry guys, gotta take this!”

This is one of those when you say to your friends, “Uh sorry guys, gotta take this!”